Practice

Before I reach for my morning coffee I

sit in the chair by the bed and put

my hands over my heart, close my eyes

and try to feel the stirrings of love.

This is not what I used to do. Coffee was

always first, then a pep talk to myself and a

morning walk. Love was never a part of the routine.

I have to remind myself that this is what I do now.

Sometimes I forget. On those days I also forget about love

as the daily tasks come at me with a vengeance. I

feel more tired at the end of the day, more like my old self

pushing, persevering and often the house is sparkly clean.

On those days, good food is made and all is in order.

On the new days when I remember I write poetry, often.

Go for a swim. Laundry stays on the floor and leftovers

are dinner. I work deeper, laugh more and usually get

more hugs from my grandbabies. I don’t pay bills.

I am remembering more, to hold my heart in my hands,

resuscitate it. Feeling it’s beat is like loving for the first time