Presence

I’ve been hearing about New Year’s Words these past two weeks. I never knew this was a thing, to find a word that describes your intention for how you would like to move through the year. I actually had no intention of doing this until this morning when the word, presence, came in loud and strong, asking me if it could be... the word.

This word seems to be the distillation of all my intentions. This year, I want to honor my truth. I want to be open to new possibilities. I want to move from fear to wonder and curiosity. I want to be in my body more than my thoughts and emotions. I want to slow down. I want to make space in my days to just “be”. I want to love with my whole self. I want to choose myself first. I could go on. What all these “wants” have in common is the need for me to be fully present in order to experience them.

If I am not fully in the moment, it usually means I am thinking, more aptly, ruminating about the past, or I am stuck in some emotional quagmire that is taking me out of the moment and into either an out-of-body experience or an unpleasant body experience, such as shallow breathing or stomach discomfort. It can happen in a flash because it is such an ingrained pattern for me. 

Practicing presence is my antidote. I can practice by sitting, cooking, walking, or even as I work. As I practice this each day, I find I have greater focus and more clarity. And I also find that it helps me experience gratitude and even a sense of awe. 

There is awe at our fingertips. The awesome reality of trees, color, fragrance, other beings and even our own bodies opens up when I am present. And from that comes the gratitude.

I have come to realize that life only happens in the present moment. What came before is memory, what comes next is mystery. Only what is in the here and now is what IS. In some strange way, this gives me comfort, knowing that each new moment is a new beginning.